The Boob Fairy

Recently, I made a solo trip to the mall to make a very important (and much needed) purchase. You see, with each child I have had, a particular part of my body has diminished. No, I am not talking about my hips or thighs, those have quickly grown. I am talking about the upper portion of my body. The current unmentionable was sadly hanging away from my chest and a gap was left, which Abi quickly learned was perfect for holding onto when I held her. Not an attractive look.

So on this expedition, I made sure that I went in the wee hours of the morning, hoping to avoid eye contact with anyone that I may or may not know. The salesperson made me feel insecure with myself the moment she smiled and said "hello, can I help you." She, obviously, had never had children before and proudly displayed her gifts by wearing a deeply plunging neckline on her shirt. LAME!!!!

I explained my situation to said sales associate and she recommended the "perfect bra". Then came the embarrassing part..."what size?" she asked. I gave her my minimalist size and she went to get it. 10 minutes passed and she returned with my unmentionable explaining that it took so long because they didn't have one on the floor and she had to look elsewhere. Gee...feeling even better about myself. Then she asked "would you like to try it on?" Uh........NO! I knew that I could try it on in the privacy of my own home and return it if it wasn't satisfactory.

As I payed for my newest investment a song came into mind that my sister-in-law Tammy introduced me to a few years ago. I thought I would share it with you all in the hopes that you can get as much of a laugh out of it as I did. I think we women can all relate to it somehow (the hip fairy came two times really hits home to me).