Sometimes I do not react to certain situation the way I would like to imagine myself reacting. Mostly as a mom. This week has definitely been one of those. You know...is it too much to ask to use the toilet without Connor standing right next to me saying in his cute little voice "mommy go pee-pee"? What if I want to send myself to time-out and not have a child follow me? Can't I have a time-out?
I love being a mom and I love my little kids. But holy cow...there are days when they (mostly Connor at this stage) refuse to "use their words" or "use your inside voice" or "please stop throwing toys in the house." I try to use my nice mommy voice as much as possible, but this week, the terrible voice of Miss Hannigan has come spewing out.
After those horrible outrages where Miss Hannigan (not me...I swear) says "I'm going Connor...when you are ready to talk, then find me." or "cry this one out on your bed..'cause we aren't getting anywhere." The worst came at 3am this morning when Connor just kept crying and crying and had been off and on since 10:30pm. I can't believe I am actually going to admit to saying this (please understand, it did come after a few cuddles, songs, ibuprofen, drink of water and change of diaper...and a rub of the legs thinking he was acting this way because of growing pains). I said to Connor, "This is just dumb, this is so stupid. If you are going to keep crying...you are going to have to do it yourself because I am going to bed." I used two NAUGHTY words!!!
I laid down in my bed and fell asleep, Connor came to my side of the bed and crawled in. I was too angry (and childlike) to want to be around him that I left and slept in his bed. Lame, I know. Can I blame it on the pregnancy?
Anyhow, during a nice long LONELY shower this morning (Heavenly Father had pitty on me and Connor sat on the couch and watched Thomas the Train the whole time) I remembered some advice I gave to my friend Heather at her baby shower:
"It's not how many times life takes your breath away,
but how often you make your kids laugh each day."
I know...I ruined the real meaning of that nice thought (I first read it on my friend Heidi's Blog.).
Laughter triumphs all. When I got out of the shower the two of us had a good tickle fest. I think he's forgiven me...now I just need to forgive myself.