Tuesday, February 26, 2008

My Dream Job

It's been a long while since I have had the pleasure of picking out paint, furniture or accessories for someone. When I was in high school I did internships for Comforts of Home and Black Goose Design. Then I went to work for Country Furniture doing their displays and later went to work for Norwalk Furniture. I LOVE to decorate and re-arrange things. It isn't the easiest job to conquer when you have small ones around the house, that's the reason I haven't done anything in a while.

Todd's dad approached me with the idea that I help select new paint for Beacon Metals, the company he owns. I was ecstatic! It's been a slow process, but the rooms are getting done. Thankfully the painters are grandparents and know the small amount of time I have available, so we have done most of our explanations over the phone. Here are the first two completed projects:

Break Room
BEFORE:


AFTER


Jim's Office
BEFORE:


AFTER:

Friday, February 22, 2008

I Must Admit That...

I have read every book in the Twilight series. I couldn't put them down and neglected everything and everyone in my life until I finished them. I am anxious to see the movie and my good friend Karie sends me updates regularly about it. When asked by others to explain the book and what draws you in...I can't. I have no real explanation.

I LOVE to play Guitar Hero. Isaac's friend, Jake, left his Wii here at the house and I can't get enough of it. I have set my limits though, and I can only play it when Isaac is home (which isn't too often...and mostly because I have no idea how to set it up or get it started). Yeah, I pretty much rock the "easy" songs.

I am a massive fan of American Idol. Always have been and always will be. Simon is 89% of the time right and I agree with him that 89% of the time. I don't watch much TV (okay, I do get in my fair share of "Super Why" and "The Wiggles"), but I try not to miss an episode of A.I.

Connor got a train set from my dad. I have way too much fun sitting on the ground and re-configuring the track layouts. When Connor is taking a nap or busy doing something else, I take the track apart (or pick up the pieces he took apart) and re-design it.

There...nothing to be too embarrassed about, right?

7 Pounds Down!!!

We weighed in this morning and I have already lost 7 pounds!!!! Todd also lost 7 pounds and Tonya lost 5.

I guess this means the dieting is working and I have to stick to it. Too bad. I had sworn that if it didn't work, I was going to return to my unhealthy eating habits.

Bring on the veggies!!! Size 10...I'm looking for ya!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

"Excusting!"


photo taken of the mentioned "little man" during the most recent attempt at potty training wearing the top to the dump truck pajamas.

Picture in your mind, if you will, the image of an adorable three year old in his dump truck pajamas lying on the living room floor carrying on a conversation with his two parents in the other room. The two parents are hearing this, but not necessarily listening.

What are the parents doing while this little man is talking to them? They are both busily catching up on their daily correspondence. Dad on his laptop, mom on her desktop computer.

The one-sided conversation sounds a little like this:

"Alex change a diaper"

"It's a stinky"

"There's some poo-poo"

"Oh, Alex...no"

"Oh My Gosh!"

"And I a change a diaper"

"Go a poo-poos in the toilet?"

This conversation is nothing new to the parents. Since the introduction to the toilet and the many failed attempts at potty training the little man's "potty mouth" is common. Hence the reason the parents ignore this conversation as it plays out like a broken record from the other room.

Once the mom completed her nightly ritual of reading emails and other favorite blogs she entered the living room to check the boys diaper to see if his conversation had any grounds for existing.

To her shock and awe she saw what was first mentioned at the beginning of this post. An adorable little boy lying on his stomach...staring at a pile of doggy doo-doo just three feet from his face.

AAUUGGHH!!! So the mom, all while mumbling something about never owning a dog and wondering why this dog couldn't have taken care of this problem when she had just let him out three times in the last hour, grabs some paper towels and cleans up the mess...only to find another pile four feet in another direction!

Upon her return from the outside dumpsters, the little man is still carrying on this same conversation from the exact same position. He certainly doesn't smell as though he has a dirty diaper. The mommy lifts the back end of the diaper up to see if something is in there...no sight necessary, her finger landed directly into the little mans doodies.

Now mumbling about the little boy she complains about how he can manage to do so much except use a toilet for the purpose it was designed for. Time to go change another diaper.

Friday, February 15, 2008

The Many Badges of Motherhood

There are many badges and physical rewards that come along with motherhood. I would like to take a moment of your time and mention a few that I have personally received (they are in no particular order...and these are just a few of them).

1) The Gold Medal of Snot. This one can be received in a broad manner of ways. My personal favorite is when a child braces you in a hug and leaves the snot mark over your shoulder, unbeknownst to you. Hence, you spend the day with a dry snot mark on your back and other parents laugh knowing that you too are a parent.

2) The Bronze Medal of Poop. Usually the strong odor can help you recognize where this gift of honor has been placed. Most often times it is given while changing a diaper or cleaning up accidents after another fatal attempt at potty training.

3) The Red Heart of Rasberry Jam. This one sneaks up on you without you knowing and is usually given shortly after lifting a child out of their highchair following a delicious lunch. Once again, you most often times don't realize you have this medal until someone points it out and shows you a spot on your body you didn't think could easily get food on (see choir director arms below).

4) The Emerald Stone of Grass Stains. This one is received with open arms while sacrificing yourself to catch a falling child or rolling with the kids in the grass.

The above badges and awards I proudly wear with honor every day (okay, so not the grass stain...it's winter, give me a few months). I am certain that each of you have badges that you display (even you Auntie's). Which badge have you received that wasn't mentioned above?

Now to the not so honorable or proudly worn badges.


1) The Saddlebags. You know where these are. You can't hide from them and you can no longer fit into those small pants that you wore prior to the beautiful addition(s) in your life (no, I don't mean your husband...although sometimes they help your hips and thighs grow too).

2) The Spare Tire. Men are not the only ones that suffer. But with women...the skin sags. How do you get rid of extra skin?

3) The Choir Director Arms. Mine are waving like a flag in July. They are proud to be a part of my arm, but I can't stand 'em. I thought lifting three kids in and out of a day would diminish those.

4) The Saggy Top. Miracle Bra? I need something more powerful than that. With each child, I've gone down a cup.

I do realize that these badges cannot be blamed solely on my little babes. I take a huge part in creating these new discoveries. In January I began going to the gym regularly to try to do my part to correct the bad habits I got accustomed to while pregnant with Carly (not exercising and eating what I wanted when I wanted). It has been 6 weeks and I have gained 4 pounds!

So, this morning, on the drive home from the gym, my mother-in-law and I began talking about ways to motivate ourselves and what we need to lose weight (she doesn't need to lose weight, but I'll take the company). Here is what we came up with:


My Motivation:
If, by April 1st, I can lose 10 pounds I can attend this Digital Scrapbooking Retreat I have been dying to go to.

My Motivators: Todd & Tonya. We have all agreed to do this together. We will check in with each other every day to see how we've done keeping to our diet and exercise plan.

My Motidoit (mode to do it): Cutting back on the food I take in, increasing the time I work-out (obviously, working out alone isn't cutting it for me).

Do you have any tips on dropping weight? And once I drop the weight, how do I maintain it? Share you tips with me! I want to get rid of some of those badges of motherhood that I don't wear too well.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Enough About Me...

...what about the kids?

I have just been very selfish lately, haven't I? So for those of you interested in an itty-bitty glimpse into the lives of the kids, here it goes (remember, you can click on their names and get a medium sized glimpse). With that, we'll start with the youngest and work our way up the chain:

Carly is now 3 months old and weighs a very hefty 17 pounds. She is an incredible sleeper (do not take this to mean that she sleeps through the night). She'll usually give me one good 6 hour stretch at night. We're working our way to 8. My biggest problem is not going to sleep when she goes to sleep, so because of my own choices, I am not as well rested as she is. Although laughter doesn't come very often, the smiles are just pouring out of this girl. She loves to sit up (anyone have any info on the bumbo chairs like price, where to get one, etc.).

Abigail is a busy-body (I can't possibly imagine where she gets that from). Always on the go, always moving. It is exhausting. She is also cutting out one of the naps from her schedule, so just one nap a day for this darling. She likes to wrestle and kick balls and throw things. She reminds me of Hammy from "Over the Hedge" she likes cookies just as much as him to. This girl is a human garbage disposal. She also LOVES the snow and being outside. She brings me her coat and shoes all the time and stands at the door waiting to go out. Whimpering like a dog until I let her go. The cold doesn't seem to bother her at all.

Connor is a sweet and sensitive little boy. He loves to read books, watch movies, play pretend and cuddle. On the other hand, he likes to make messes and he is starting to say some of the most adult phrases. Not bad adult, mom and dad adult. Like when we approach the front door he says, "hey mom, you got the keys?".

I don't know how much more potty training he needs. He has mastered the following steps in this order:

Putting the Cushy Tooshy onto the big toilet
Removing his pants and diaper
Sitting on the toilet
Taking some toilet paper & wiping himself
Flushing the toilet
Returning the Cushy Tooshy to it's hook on the wall
Washing and Drying his hands

Did you notice which step was missing? Actually going #1 or #2 in the toilet! AAUUGGHH!!! We'll find him in the bathroom all the time just going through the motions. One of these days something is bound to end up in the toilet instead of his diaper, even if it isn't until he's 15. I'm trying to convince him to put his own diaper on afterwards, but that hasn't happened yet.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

A Long Jaunty

We returned safely from Logan late last night. The vacation was much needed and here is how it all "went down":

Thursday afternoon we loaded up the mini.....van (ha ha, you thought I meant mini...I didn't, although, Todd's sister does have a mini). A whole hour and a half to Logan...I was worried if we would remember how to talk to one another. It has been a little over three years since we have been able to have an uninterrupted conversation for that long. It came easily, just like it was when we were dating! We talked about Todd's final semester (we hope) and what he plans to do when he grows up. He will be an architect, we know that much. But where and what types (not so much the type) are all still in the air. He has had a few job offers and we talked about the different pros and cons of each firm he's considering.

When we entered Sardine Canyon, the conversation sort of came to a screeching halt as we entered the thickest fog. It was very frightening for both of us. We stayed right on top of those bumps on the shoulder just to feel our way along the road, we could not see six feet in front of us. When the fog clear (at about Sherwood Hills) we saw a line of cars in front of us. None of us were going above 30 mph. Thankfully there were three snow-plows paving the way with salt. SPOOKY!!! But we made it into Cache Valley...my sweet little first hometown.

I always look for the temple when we first enter. And there she stood like she always has! I loved it. Not too long into the city we pulled into the Econolodge. We found that they had the best price on-line and they also showed pictures of a hot tub and swimming pool. But the pool looked like it had never been used due to the snow surrounding the door!!! Nobody could have opened it. So Todd and I went in to the front desk and asked if the pool was in operation. The cute girl at the desk said "no." And we said "thanks, but we would really like to swim."

When we got back into the van Todd suggested that we "splurge and go to the Anniversary Inn." Sure, we could spend $100. So we drove to the Anniversary Inn. When we walked in, we asked the front deskette if she had any rooms available. She replied that she did and she wrote them down on a little pink sticky note. She then encouraged us to look through a book of the theme rooms and once we decided which one we wanted, she would get us checked-in.

Todd and I flipped through the book and agreed that the Hollywood Romance Suite fit the bill! I walked up to the front desk to give her our request, and another couple came walking in behind us. We were all a little sidetracked as she had a customer on hold while trying to help us. She joyfully explained that when we arrived in our room we would find some sparkling cider and cheesecake waiting for us. We could check-out three movies, and when we were ready, she could bring us some freshly popped popcorn. We could have all the free sodas we wanted. It sounded like so much fun.

She asked how I would be paying and I gave her my debit card. She ran it and handed me back the receipt to sign. I nearly had a heart attack. First off, it was a miracle that the amount I read actually went through...I didn't think that we had that much money in our bank account, secondly, if I am going to spend that kind of money it is going to be on something that will last longer than cheesecake in my tummy and 8 hours of sleep.

But remember, there was a couple behind us. I couldn't go back now and say..."sorry, but we're too poor." So Todd and I turned around with the key to our expensive room. As we walked out the door, I slipped Todd the receipt and he stopped breathing. We sat in the car and looked at each other in amazement. $285. We agreed that we just couldn't do that right now. So I waited until the other couple left the building (come on....I can't ruin my pride...not that I have much anymore). Then I hopped out of the van and walked back up to the girl at the front desk.

I informed her that Todd and I were just poor college students and that the room was more than we had intended. She apologized for never mentioning the price to us and offered us a discount. I told her that unless it was $100, we couldn't afford it. She said that they couldn't drop the price that low. So I told her to just cancel the reservation all together. How embarrassing!!!!

We drove away with our heads hanging low looking for another cheap hotel, hopefully one with a hot tub...Logan is COLD!!!! Comfort Inn became our home of choice. By now we had wasted too much time and we had to quickly get into our church clothes and drive to the Temple ASAP. We were going to see our friend Rachael receive her endowments.

Once in the temple I went into the waiting room and waited and waited and waited, but Todd never showed up. I wondered if something had happened to him in the dressing room, maybe he had fallen and cracked his head open. Or what if he got sick and was in the bathroom. The thoughts were going through my mind the whole time, even while this super friendly lady sat next to me and talked and talked and talked about her whole life and her kids lives and the lives of the people she knows. She must have been a lonely little lady. I learned a lot about her that day.

They announced that it was time for us to be going and that we would be leaving as soon as the first waiting room went...I saw Todd's head go by and knew that all was well with him. He spied me and I smiled so big happy to know that he was alive.

The session was amazing and I am so grateful to have seen Rachael there. She looked absolutely beautiful and her fiance was just beaming with joy. It was so cute.

In the Celestial Room this same little lady I visited with came up to me to talk some more. I smiled and was friendly with her, so Todd assumed that it was someone I must have known from growing up here. She treated me as though I was one of her grand-daughters, so Todd gave her a big hug and was as sweet as s southern boy. After we left, I explained to him that I had never met this woman before and we went above and beyond. There are blessings for him in Heaven.

Dinner was take-out from Juniper Take-Out. One of my favorite places to eat in Logan. And then we went swimming, well, Todd did. I just sat in the hottest hot tub in the world and loved every minute of it. My skin is so dry now from the soak, but it ws worth it.

Afterwards we watched "Fever Pitch" on TV. When the commercials were rolling, they showed clips of the movie "Fool's Gold." Todd suggested that we pick up his sister and see the movie after the wedding. I agreed that it was a great idea (after hesitating for a moment, I did have plans to watch a Michael Buble concert with my fam).

The Sealing of Rachael and Brad was incredible! The bride's colors were pink and black and her bouquet had bright pink gerber daisies and white calla lilies. Rachael was gorgeous. Isn't it so much fun to be a bride! Dressing up and wearing fancy jewelery and holding pretty flowers.

In between the wedding and the luncheon I took Todd on a tour of my old stomping grounds and we got an ice cream cone at Aggie Ice Cream. I grew up in the cutest little part of Logan ever, the Island. It was the perfect place for me and my family. I can't believe how much freedom my parents allowed me and my siblings to have. We walked or rode our bikes all over that place. I would be hesitant about letting me kids have that much freedom.

The luncheon was at the Bluebird Restaurant. It brought back a flood of memories from when Adam and Angie had their wedding. The ironic thing is that this friend Rachael is also from Soda Springs. Small world that these two girls from Soda would both get married in the Logan temple and have their luncheon at the Bluebird. Okay, maybe it's not so ironic when Logan is as small as it is.

Then it came time to pick up Kelli. I was wearing a cute dress, but one that is a little too tight after wearing it during an entire luncheon where I engorged myself of two cupcakes (before the meal), a roll, roast beef, potatoes and veggies. I ran into Kelli's apartment to change so fast. I charged into the apartment without knocking (yeah, her door was unlocked) I barely said hello to her roommate as I entered. Kelli wasn't home yet.

Phew, out of the tight tights and oxygen depriving dress and into comfy pants (that the zipper always comes down on...I have bad luck with pants) and stretchy shirt with room to grow. We got geared up and headed to see the movie "Fool's Gold." Have you seen it yet? Are you thinking of seeing it? Well, I must warn you that I think it should have been rated R. Within the first 5 minutes of the movie you see two girls flash the camera (I'm talking Mardi Gras flashing). There's lots of fighting and killing people...it is not "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days." It's too bad, really. It could have been a cute show, but the bare boobies tainted me for the remainder of them movie (what do guys think is so beautiful about those anyway?).

Kelli insisted (not really, she never insists on anything, just highly recommends) that we go the the Firehouse Pizzaria. The pizza we got is the closest to my favorite Boston Pizza yet. YUM! If you are ever in Logan, you have got to eat there.

We bid our adieus and returned them to their homes. By this point it was late and I was certain that my babies would all be in bed before I got home. I missed them terribly. We talked the whole way home, this time about the lesson that I am teaching on Sunday. It was marvelous. I love talking to Todd. That's why I fell in love with him in the first place. He is a great listener and has incredible feedback.

To my surprise Connor and Carly were still awake when we got home and I just cuddled and loved and squeezed and kissed those two cute kids. Apparently they were perfect little angels for Ken and Tonya and Connor and Abi had slept through the whole night in their own beds and Carly slept pretty good two. I'm glad they were angels for them, why aren't they always that way for me?

Okay, so that was the story of our first time going over night without our kids. Gotta gear up for May when Todd graduates. We're leaving Connor and Abi behind then!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

A Little Jaunty

Todd and I took a little jaunty this evening to the store. All of his pants are too big for him (wahhhh...if we all had that problem). So I recommended that we check out Steve & Barry's (on VanWinkle by Gold's Gym...think "gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go).

Good thing we did. Everything in the store was $8.98. EVERYTHING!!!! So you'd think that we would have just gone to town. We loaded up a shopping cart with lots of pants for him and a shirt. We found a nice winter coat for Connor that he can wear next year and a few things for me. I must admit, a lot of things are picked through...but it did my heart good to see that all of my pant sizes were gone and most of the pants there were a size 0 (that means that I am average...there are so many people my size that it was the most popular and there are not as many little people as the store hoped).

When our cart was full, we made a stop at the dressing rooms. I HATE THOSE MIRRORS!!! I had two pairs of capris and two shirts. One of the shirts was a large and it was way too small. I must have grabbed a large shirt from the kids department (that's what I keep telling myself). It emphasized every crease and roll in my upper body. At least it showed me where I need to be focusing my energy on while at the gym. The other was a small and it was, small.

Speaking of the gym, I have been going religiously. The scales have gone up!!! Those capris that I mentioned earlier, were a size 10...too tight. I have some more work to do. My body is a little mis-proportioned. I like my waist, but the hips and the thighs, WHOA BETTY! I do believe that with each child you (or me at least) deliver, your hips spread further and further apart, thus giving you the "mom butt."

Todd is no better than a girl when it comes to trying on clothes. He just criticized his body as I just did. He has no room to speak, he is in great shape and looked fabulous in the clothes he tried on. But Todd, he'd just be happiest if the rest of the world would accept his "old style" and bring back Girbaud's (do you remember thse?). He always talks about how those were the pants that always fit him best. Just another one of the reasons why I love that man.

I think that the next time Todd needs clothes, I will just do what my friend Margaret does....I will purchase all of the clothes that I like for Todd (these purchases will be made without his presence, shopping is much more fun with the girls). After the fun is done, I will present them to him in the solitude of his own room and the mirror he is most familiar with. He can then explain to me which things he likes and which items he doesn't. I will simply return those things he doesn't like and I won't have to hear my husband who looks perfectly fine complain about not looking perfectly fine while shopping. Nothing ruins a fun shopping excursion like a sour puss.

The trip was only an hour long. Ken & Uncle Ike were "watching (refer to earlier post...now I know where Todd got it from)" the kids. Connor was asleep on the couch (no complaints here...he's still asleep even after I transfered him from the couch to his bed!). Abi looked like she always does...a little discheveled and as though she had been into everything (which, after a walk through the house, she had been. She emptied one of the cabinets in the bathroom). Carly was "cranky" as Ike put it.

I told them she probably needed a bottle. Ken quickly offered to make her a bottle. I sat down with my adorable little girl and began visiting with her. Ken brought the bottle down...filled to the brim (over 9 ounces). Carly usually drinks just 6 ounces of formula in a feeding. It didn't bother me though, he was so kind and helpful, besides, Carly would drink as much as she wanted. However, she was unhappy with the bottle. It wasn't too hot or too cold...but it did look a little thinner than normal.

I asked Ken how many scoops of formula he put in. He responded, "one." One scoop of formula to 9 ounces of water. You cute mommies can figure out why Carly wasn't happy with what she was getting. So I thanked him and laughed my way up the stairs to make Carly a more proportioned bottle. She guzzled it down in minutes.

As I was feeding her, I thought, "It's a good thing we discovered this tonight. Carly would have starved Thursday and Friday if we hadn't caught the formula problem." You see, Todd and I are going to Logan tomorrow to see my friend Rachael's wedding.

We are spending the night! Without kids! Our first time alone since our babies have joined our lives! Yeah! I'll let you know all about it when we get back.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I Love Me Because...

Sunday, in Relief Society, Sister Brown gave the most wonderful lesson. She reminded us that Valentine's Day is upon us soon. We usually think of other people on that day, but she thought that we deserved to think about ourselves and remind ourselves why we love us.

She had many quotes to share reminding us of why we are all incredible. But I must admit my favorite part were the statistics she gave:

~The average woman in the United States is 5'4" tall and weighs 140 pounds.

~Out of 20,000 women, only 8 of those are super models. They average 5'11" tall and weigh 117 pounds (YUCK! I haven't weighed that since 9th grade).

~If Barbie were human, she would have to crawl around on all fours because she is so misproportioned.

~All photos nowadays in magazines are airbrushed...nobody (except for those 8 super models that are really sickly skinny) looks that good in real life.

~Marilyn Monroe was a size 14!

So, with that rolling, I am sure every woman in the room started to feel better about themselves and it was easier to take in the lesson. As the lesson came to a close, Audrey gave each of us a card and asked us to write "I Love Me Because..." and told us to complete the sentence.


I am going to encourage each of you, my amazing friends, to comment here and do the same! Share the love!!!!

(I made a scrapbook page using her idea using pictures of myself during a time in my life when I was satisfied with my looks...I'm working to get back to that look again. i.e. the longer hair, the smoother skin, no saddlebags).

Sunday, February 3, 2008

I Am Blessed

It has taken me longer to write this than the funeral itself...and I also go off on little paths that aren't funeral related...so to help this along...if it goes directly along with the funeral program, I have written them in blue. Everything else is just my mind doing it's "all over the place" thing.

Yesterday Todd, Tammy, Kelli and I all attended the funeral of President Gordon B. Hinckley (Tonya has a calling in the Church's hostessing department and had a few extra tickets last minute). The emotions I felt and the things I saw made me want to be a better person. The funeral was such an incredible experience, I knew that I just had to write it down.

We arrived at 10:05 and were surprised that there weren't lines of people and that the seats weren't already filled to capacity...but then again grateful. It meant we got to have a good seat (any seat in the conference center is a good seat). However, I am certain that this must have been one of the largest audiences of any funeral ever.

A little before 11:00, the monitors began to show the procession of vehicles and the herse carrying President Hinckley's body on it's journey from his home to the Conference Center. Silence came over the congregation as we watched the cars enter the building (yes...they drove right into the building...how cool is it that they made the halls wide enough for cars?).

At that moment, I began to miss Hawaii. You see, while Todd and I were living in Hawaii we clung to the gospel. It was our link to friendships and the family that would take care of us while we were thousands of miles away from our own. My testimony grew in leaps and bounds during that season of our life.

Not only that but I craved seeing the apostles and prophets. I took forgranted, while living in Utah, the incredible opportunities I had to see these living apostles and prophets at General Conferences and other meetings. During our five years in Hawaii we had the privilege of attending, in our own home ward, meetings where President Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson, James E. Faust, and others whose names I have forgotten of the different quorums of the seventies. President Hinckley came twice and we even saw him once at the Polynesian Cultural Center.

I couldn't have imagined, while living in Hawaii, not doing everything in my power to see this living prophet and his apostles. Everytime they spoke, the power of the spirit would overwhelm me (and I am sure everyone else in the room). I felt as though the prophet knew me and loved me, even though we had never spoken.

It makes me consider how it must feel to be in the Savior's presence. He is the one who has comforted me in my times of sorrow and loneliness. I know that He knows me and hears me...I can only imagine how overwhelmed (that isn't even the word to describe it)I will feel when I meet my Savior and my Father in Heaven.

Oh, sorry...I tend to ramble a lot. Back to the funeral services.

Anyway, missing Hawaii and the opportunities given to hear our Prophets voice, the gratitude for President Hinckley began to swell in my heart (and my tear ducts) and I started weeping. About this time the Quorum of the Twelve had entered the building, and standing as immovable walls on each side of the path to the conference center, protected and buoyed up the Hinckley family as the walked in...with smiles on their faces.

Because of this gospel and their knowledge of it, President Hinckley's passing was just the next step in our plan of salvation. It brings such peace to me to know that he is with his adorable wife and other family members who have already passed on.

President Monson, in his sweet story telling voice conducted the meeting. He has such a kind and loving manner about him. The mantle that has just been placed upon his shoulders must be heavy. I was talking with Ken and Todd yesterday about that mantle. Todd was amazed that these men can take so much upon themselves at their age. And asked "How do they do it?". I had the most amazing answer that came to me and I shared it with them...

It is the same way a woman can handle being a mother. Heavenly Father blesses you with this miraculous ability to do things you could never do before. There are weeks that can pass and I will function just fine with only three hours of sleep at night. How is it that I can still manage to keep the house clean, the children dressed, study my scriptures, do my creative things, fix meals, change diapers, keep a smile on my face and still love my family? It is a miracle...our Heavenly Father helps carry the weight of it all. Even though you can't see them, we secretly given eight arms, two heads, eyes in the back of our heads and 5 hearts...we do it. I am not meaning this to say that I always do these things without an emotional break-down here and there...they happen too.

All the music was performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. The first song they sang was "My Redeemer Lives" written by Gordon B Hinckley and the music by one of his mission companions. They also performed a song called "What is this Thing Called Death." I just learned that Janice Kapp Perry wrote music for it as a dying wish for one of her nieces. After it was written, she submitted it to have it authorized as a hymn.

There were tears shed, moments of laughter and reflection. I learned more about our Prophet and loved him more than I ever had in my life.

At the end of the funeral program, they asked that we remain in our seats until the family had left the Conference Center. During that time they played a movie showing clips of President Hinckley's life. I couldn't peel my eyes away and the tears never stopped. I needed to leave to pick up the kids from the babysitters (thanks Laurissa...the exchange worked out perfectly for me, sorry you had to take care of five kids on your own) but I just couldn't leave in the middle of the best movie ever!

The strongest feeling I left with was the desire to change. I want to be a better person. I want to live as honorable and loving life as President Hinckley. I want to love my Toddy they way he and Marjorie loved each other. I want my children to know that they are not only loved by their parents unconditionally, but a Father in Heaven. I want to be better.